guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is that strawberry winking at me??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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