if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
