apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
