this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
