Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
