"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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