so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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