But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
