shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
