Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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