I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
