woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
