I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
