the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
