I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
