how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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