idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
