I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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