So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
