im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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