her vagina looked like bernie madoff
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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