Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
