this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Barsexuality is the new black.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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