is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
