in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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