Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
