On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
