they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
