hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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