Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
