Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
