I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
