dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
