Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
