Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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