This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
