Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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