I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
