i think my mom watched the whole time
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
