Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
