girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
