I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
