I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
