so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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