How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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