i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
