she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
