nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
