thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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