Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
